Creative Path Studio: Trish Roque’s blog, studio, and musings on living a purpose-filled life.

Needless to say that I’ve been scouring the web for information on canine melanoma. Here’s the important stuff:

• it is an aggressive form of cancer that typically appears in the mouth
• dogs that are beyond the initial stages will not survive beyond five months with conventional therapies
• treatment often includes radiation and surgery
• the cancer spreads rapidly and is often unresponsive to chemotherapy
• it can be incredibly painful
• most common in dogs with dark pigmentation
• there is a vaccine that has shown promise in clinical studies; published reports have included individuals whose cancer completely disappeared!!

Here are some facts about Siwa, based on the lab results from the vet:

• though she is 12 and has cancer, her blood work apparently had a healthy dose of all the good things (sorry I’m a little fuzzy on the details)
• she has a healthy appetite (loss of appetite is a bad sign)
• she still has control of all her bodily functions (thank goodness!)
• she can still see, hear, and smell
• though she has slowed down on the trail, she still exhibits a playful enthusiasm when she hears the word W-A-L-K
• in short, if it weren’t for the cancer, she would be perfectly healthy

Back to the vaccine. The vet said she is a good candidate for the vaccine, which is administered four times in two-week intervals.

It’s expensive (~$700/shot) but not as expensive as the less successful surgery and radiation (~$5K-$8K), nor is it as uncomfortable. If the tumors grow back after the first two shots, then we know the vaccine is not working and we discontinue with the treatment and just give her painkillers. My biggest concern has always been Siwa’s quality of life. This was the least intrusive, least painful, and least expensive option.

Siwa was with me at the beginning of my journey into adulthood - she put up with a lot from me, including every significant relationship I’ve ever had, five moves (one of which involved crossing several state lines), two cats, and Sammy. It’s the least I can do for her.

And enjoying every minute of it!!

Though Siwa has slowed down, she still enjoys being outside - not around the block outside, but in the hills, among the flowers and cow poop outside. See:

Her front legs were shaved so the vets could run the IV fluids through her after the surgery to remove her tumors, hence the funny looking legs.

It is a challenge walking two dogs who have incompatible needs and energy. That’s why I started the separate walks. However, I don’t always have that kind of time (it’s pretty rare actually!). Fortunately, we live in the Bay Area, where even I can find a secluded field where Sammy can run amok and chase sticks that I throw at him which he doesn’t bring back and instead chews and eats, and little furry animals that are fortunately quicker than him. Siwa just enjoys the scenery.

Here are recent drawings of her. I have to admit, Siwa foreshortened is a tad difficult, especially with her short, bear-like muzzle:

…need I complete this sentence?

Jon is in NY with his mom because his sister is ill with cancer. His mom’s husband is in the hospital recovering from a quadruple bypass. Our good friends down the road just returned from the hospital with their one-year old who is still trying to get over a bout of pneumonia. Jenny’s dog continues to wear the cone because her tummy is stapled with stitches. Our roof is still leaking from all the rain that has fallen these past few days (yes, it is also literally pouring).

And the storm for me came when I took Siwa to the vet for a routine dental. They discovered two large golf-ball sized masses in her mouth that was responsible for her drooling and recent foul breath (hence the impetus to get her teeth cleaned). The vet thinks it’s melanoma. She won’t know for certain ’til next week. I fear and am expecting that her diagnosis is right - what else can explain the sudden foul breath, especially since the vet saw Siwa in December for her routine checkup and shots, and she was given a clean bill of health?

Siwa will be 12 on Valentine’s Day. I fully expect her to live for a while longer. I hope I am not disappointed.

Expect to see more drawings of the sweetest creature I have ever known:

I don’t often write about my pets, though my site is full of their pictures. But lately, I’ve felt compelled to write about Siwa, who will be 12 years old in February. She is a very special dog, one who has been with me through a number of life’s pages. Heck, she was with me through every significant relationship I’ve had with the exception of the first. She has been my constant companion since my early 20s, making the trek with me from New Mexico, where she was born and bred.

She has been an avid hiker, like me, since she was a pup. When I arrived in the Bay Area, she was diagnosed with severe arthritis in her elbows. She was four at the time. It didn’t seem to stop her. She would chase cows, squirrels, cats. We ran through the trails of Redwood Park in the Oakland hills. She would always be along exploring the parks of the East Bay with me, just as we had done through the trails of the Sangre de Cristo mountains in New Mexico.

Two weekends ago marked a significant time in both our lives: I started giving her a separate walk on the trails because she is no longer able to keep up on our regular hikes with Sammy, our 4-1/2 year old Border Collie. It takes her about an hour to walk less than a mile.

We spent the New Year’s weekend playing in the snow up in Tahoe. Siwa had to stay behind for the snowshoeing trip, which made me really sad. But after she and I took a walk down the snow-filled road, she looked at me with her big brown eyes as if to say, “It’s ok. I’ve had my fun. I know my limits and I’m good with it.”

It’s really hard to see her slowing down so quickly in the last six months. But every step she takes, she does so with her tail wagging. She moves at her own pace, confident that she will get to where she needs to go in her own time. She is secure in herself, sometimes to the point of being aloof. (She is more like cat than dog in that way.) She is incredibly patient, though she does not hesitate to warn other dogs when they have crossed the line. She will defend herself but she rarely starts the fight. (That would be Sammy!) She is very forgiving, and is quite content to just enjoy her life.

*Sigh* I want to grow old gracefully like her. *Sigh*

(This photo was taken after we hiked a good 3-4 hours in the mountains above Kangaroo Lake in Northen California this past summer. We crossed the Pacific Crest Trail at one point. She plopped on her bed upon our return to the campsite. Jon, Sammy, and I decided to take a dip at the lake, to which Siwa said, “I’m not moving from this spot!” Not bad for an old gal!)

A Mixed Bag

The apprenticeship has been an interesting mix of fulfillment and challenges. On the one hand, I’ve really enjoyed working with and being in close proximity to the animals. On the other hand, zookeeping is physically demanding. I’m constantly on my feet, cleaning, feeding, herding, moving hay and straw, and in general, going non-stop all day long. I come home with little energy to do much else.

This particular apprenticeship program is suited for those who are looking to gain first-hand experience of zookeeping, and ultimately, a career change. These first few weeks have made me realize that I do not wish to become a zookeeper. (I really do enjoy making websites!)

If anything, I’ve gained an appreciation for what zoos and their keepers do for the animals. It’s not easy making a living as a zookeeper in the Bay Area, and certainly, most who work at the zoo do not do this for the money. These keepers are following their calling - their path in life. I’m all for that!

Finding balance has been difficult

Since starting my apprenticeship almost 4 weeks ago, juggling responsibilities for my various activities has been challenging. I work at a “regular job” 4 days a week. My freelance work continues to grow and I find it necessary to spend evenings and weekends focusing on these projects. And, up until recently I was putting in 16 hours per week at the zoo.

I’m not superwoman nor do I want to be. I was forced to look at my responsibilities and prioritize, especially because I was no longer enjoying much of anything. In essence, I was juggling 3 jobs. I had to look very closely at my goals and found that having a balanced life was very important.

I have since made arrangements to cut my apprenticeship time to 8 hours per week, with an increase in the overall duration of time that I am at the zoo. Life feels more sane!

My apprenticeship began this week, and although I will not be working with the elephants, as I originally hoped, I am not disappointed.

I’ve been assigned to String 7, where I work with goats, sheep, pigs, rabbits, tropical birds, and lemurs. I spent my first weekend familiarizing myself with the daily chores of the zookeeper: preparing diets (i.e. chopping veggies & fruit), cleaning enclosures, observing the animals for general health, and getting a glimpse of the individual personalities of these critters.

For instance, I’ve learned first hand that Felix the goat does not particularly care for women. He let me know by head-butting me the first day. So now, I don’t turn my back on him. Then there’s Joanna and her buddy, Polly, the Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs. They are both old, grumpy ladies, and they are nice to you if you have a bowl of food in your hands. Otherwise, well… suffice to say you better have a bowl in your hand.

Then, there are the sweet, adorable lemurs. I’m slowly learning to differentiate among the lemurs, but Chester is one I can’t miss. He’s hormonally challenged and has a pair of man-boobs. He’s a favorite among the zookeepers because he’s a sweetheart - and, well, he’s kind of amusing to watch.

He sits there, usually on his haunches, comfortably resting his arms on his “arm holders”.The photo on the right is not the best because I did not want to get too close to him and startle him. I’m in their space and I need to respect that.

But this is what I love most about these lemurs: they are sun-worshippers, just like me. Look at them:

They apparently follow the path of the sun along the ledge, and sit worshipping all day long.

It’s been an interesting start so far. Once I get the routine down, I’ll have more time to focus on the required project. It will probably include some kind of enrichment for the lemurs, since I am finding myself drawn to them.

Stay tuned for more…

The Performing Animal Welfare Society, PAWS, is a sanctuary in central California dedicated to providing permanent homes to many animals of the circus and entertainment industries.

I am donating my web services for their February 2007 Auction Benefit for the Elephants. So, if you know anyone in need of a website, they should contact PAWS to place that bid!

Download the PDF of a flyer I made for the auction.

I’ve applied for and been accepted into the Oakland Zoo apprenticeship!! Yay!

What does this mean exactly?

An apprentice is really an intern, except I’m not in school, and I must continue to work for a living. Starting in January, I will be at the zoo during Fridays and weekends, working with and learning from the zookeepers and the various animals under their care.

Though I wasn’t assigned my first choice (the elephants - but as a friend said - nobody STARTS with the elephants!) I’ll be working with lemurs, goats, parrots, rabbits, AND pot-bellied pigs!! I am very excited!

I don’t know where this will lead me.

In many ways, this apprenticeship will be about exploring and learning. I’ve always loved animals and this opportunity will provide me with the chance to discover how much I wish to turn this love into a living. Or maybe I’ll discover a nice balance among all the various interests in my life, including blogging, drawing, web design, and taking care of critters!

I read an article in the New York Times recently, an article that tugged at my heartstrings and made me ask myself once again, what am I doing?

The article was about elephants, and more specifically, the crises we have put elephants in, and how elephants are responding to that crises. These elephants are not doing well. I’m saddened by this. I also became overwhelmed by the feeling of wanting to do something to help.

I love these big beautiful creatures — ok, I’m really a sucker for all critters, but elephants have a special place in my heart. The first non-abstract, non-stone-carving sculpture I ever made was of an elephant. (If I ever find the cast of that elephant, I’ll post the photos.) I made drawings of them - an homage of sorts to these beautiful, social animals.

This article led me to the websites of the Elephant Sanctuary and PAWS, two organizations dedicated to providing sanctuaries for elephants (and other creatures in need). As I read about the work of these organizations, I felt that tug again.

I don’t exactly know what that tug is about. I know it’s important and that I must explore its message.